Wednesday6.07pm

if i dont say this now i will surely breakdown.
i guess i just have to start post something that is true
so now here it goes.

I still can't believe you're gone really!..well anyway I'm happy for you. at last you get what you really wanted. to tell you all the truth.yes, I'm haven't yet move on, i don't know why. i thought i did, but i don't! its crazy, my mind is crazy. i kept on thinking of this someone that not supposed to be in my damn mind.I'm trying so hard to move on ,hang out friends.make new friends but yet i don't know why you're here in my mind. its hard for me to move on and the hardest part is to let go of someone you really love so much.and i thought by coming to school will make me feel better. but i was wrong.i saw this guy who have the same watch as you,and it reminds me of the night i was asking you the time and yes you said just look at it and the time will come out itself.i was stupid to listen to him and he was laughing at me. the watch have to click this button and it will come out the time lah. after thinking about this, i start laughing and my friends thought i was crazy.and the worst part is when I'm in school. it reminds me of the day you said you're coming to my school and i get back when you're already reach the school and we fight again.and theres more memories that maybe i should not mention here.you see! how am i supposed to move on if this is how i felt almost everyday.my mind is full of your memories.I've tried everything just to get it out! i delete every msg you gave, i left my phone at home while I'm going out or meeting friends because i know it will silent all day.i try to have more new friends,and i bought something that was supposed to be yours but i throw it away.and still I'm not fine at all.I'm not me, this is not me! I'm not like this.i just cant except the fact that I'm sad and not the ain i used to be.but i know someday i will be ok. it takes time that's all.
So as I write this post,And she'd my last tear
it's all for the better,That we end this this year
Let's close this chapter

to mirah: oh god! i miss you like crazy. where the hell are you?why are you not here with me? i love you and i cried while reading your blog. it was just so sweet :(

joshua: i know you love me and you always advice me on something and you're so kind that you just want to hug me everyday when we meet in school. but I'm sorry i don't need that at all :) thanks anyway.

manuela: thanks for the advice you gave.i appreciate it alot! maybe i should give you some advice too, don't think about the malaysia guy. he's stupid!slap him then he know! don't know how to treat girls well.you deserve better than him. (:

rena: my b1 too! thanks aloT! I'm sorry if i call "words" just now. hahahaha i am really sorry! i know you love me. i love you too beybeh! :)

fiza: my minarep! thanks for the sms that you gave me last two days. it helps me abit.


baby aqil: you help me abit. i was busy taking care of you and i didnt even think about it that much. and yes sometimes when youre sleepping. i do talk to you and asking why am i like this. you just kept quite cause you were sleeping and if youre awake, i dont think you even understand what the fuck was talking about.

and yes niez: my best friend! thanks alot! you were there for me when i need you. we know we cant contact much because you already have your real baby for 11months and i scared she will say that i wanna stole you from her HAHAHA! youre still my best friend don't worry and you're still in the family of cb hahaha.

and lastly.
to all the new friends that i know: I'm sorry if I've been asking you alot of questions and kept on talking about him all the time.and im happy that you still here and bare with it. thanks alot! :) don't worry i will change insyallah .

i guess thats all, ill stop here then.its too much im sorry.